Five years ago today I took this photo. It is not my best photo ever, but it could be my most important…
Photography was something that had always interested me. There were photographers in my life and you could say I learned by proximity. Because of this proximity I also always saw it as something I could never do, at least in the traditional sense of the word. And yet, it was still something I found myself drawn to. So, it makes sense that when it felt like the world was crashing in on me, it was photography that saved me.
Five years ago my battle with depression and anxiety became too much and I had a mental breakdown. Along with many items in my house, I broke. There were several choices on the table and thankfully I reached for my phone and called my husband to come home before I could make the wrong one. I got the help I needed, but was still looking at a long road to mental recovery and rebuilding. I still felt unsure of how or what to do to keep moving forward.
One day I decided I would start small. My goal was to put my shoes on. From there to step out the door. Get to the water. Once I was at the water I could breath deeply and feel warmth and even appreciation. I wanted to capture that, so I would take a photo. I would process a photo. I would post the photo with no words.
This was my daily morning routine for a while beginning October 1st, 2016 with this photo. Some days it was harder than others, but I knew if I could just take it one step at a time I could get to the place I could breath and process myself and a photo.
Ironically this was the day that I stopped writing. Previously writing was my tool to deal with depression and anxiety. I could often write myself out of a panic attack. But that other day, the day I broke as I refer to it, I was not able to write myself out it. In the days that followed I couldn’t write. Heck, in the years that followed I could not write. I spoke through images. I put my heart into sharing images.
I have gradually been able to get back to writing and that is why I wanted to have a section on this site for writing. Five years later, I feel like all the parts of me are finally coming together. All the imperfect parts that perfectly form me. Sharing all of it with you con cariño.